ADVICE: Boyfriend Getting Cold Feet About Moving In Together?

Dear Michelle Valentine,

My boyfriend of two years and I are supposed to be moving in together in February; however, instead of being excited about it… I am becoming increasingly nervous over the situation. I wish I could say that I was the one getting cold feet but, unfortunately, this is not the case. The whole “moving in together” thing was his idea and I have been nothing but optimistic about our future residence…. that is… until now. Whenever I bring up the move to him (which is not very often as I don’t intend to nag him) he seems to change the subject or say, “Whatever is meant to happen will happen,” or, “Whatever I choose…I hope I make the right decision.”

I don’t know what he means when he says such things but every time I ask him to clarify he changes the subject. The big “move” is a month away and I am at a loss as to what I should be doing. I love him very much and I have planned my whole life around this move with him. What do you think is going on with him? What do you suggest I do?

Please help!

Nicole

Winter Park, Florida

Well readers, what would YOUR advice be? What would YOU do? Have you ever lived with someone before marriage? How did it work out? Do you know of someone that had been in this similar situation? Please post your comments below...

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4 Comments to ADVICE: Boyfriend Getting Cold Feet About Moving In Together?:

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Kelly on Friday, January 06, 2012 6:20 PM

i wouldnt move in with him. he is gettin coldfeet. stay where u r!!!

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Binky on Saturday, January 07, 2012 9:59 PM

Grow up, drop the drama and seek conventional old school methods. It worked for your grandparents. Your narcissism and grandiose schemes makes you less attractive to him, forcing you into many happy-hour drinking sessions with girlfriends for group hug therapy.

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RJP on Wednesday, March 07, 2012 9:25 AM

Everyone loses when a couple lives together without marriage. Statistics even prove that when you live together before marriage it's less likely to work out. Women want to live with their guy because they are in such(innate)desire to do what comes naturally to them, no matter how "independent" she is. After two years, it's time to make some serious moves towards contemplating marriage, or not (move on). It's much healthier and happier to live together under the covenant of marriage, where there is more of a committment on both parts, not just the "illusion" of one. Living together without being married is a losing situation, most defenitely for the woman. Listen to your inner feelings, especially when it's strong..that's cause for stopping and contemplating. You'll be all the more wiser, healthier and happier.

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	Michelle Valentine on Wednesday, March 07, 2012 8:22 PM RJP, you are making a good point about how living together can be an "illusion" of commitment. As long as both parties agree whole-heartedly agree that the living together situation is meant as more of a convenience - as opposed to a very specific time-frame goal of a marriage date - then it can be a fine decision for both parties involved... but that is usually not the case. Women in general will move in with a man with the hopes of him eventually becoming her lifetime partner (through the covenant of marriage). Men, on the other hand, see it as a convenient arrangement that can be dissolved at any time.

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