Dear Michelle Valentine,

My girlfriend wants me to marry her. I think she’s beautiful and sweet, but one thing bothers me… she’s a little on the heavy side.

In some ways this is nice because it makes her “cuddle-able”.

Yet I can’t help comparing her to other women I see, trying to decide who’s more attractive.

Also, I feel bad about saying I wouldn’t marry her because of her looks, because I don’t like it when other people are superficial.

Is this comparing a bad thing if I really love her? Do I sound superficial? And what hope is there for me if I really am the superficial person I don’t want to be?

Sam, via email

DEAR READERS:

I OPENED THIS ONE FOR DISCUSSION, AND HERE’S WHAT READERS HAD TO SAY:

Dear Michelle Valentine,

I read your column about the girl who wants her boyfriend to marry her, but he has second questions about it.

I feel he needs to get a grip on his own feelings, because if he doesn’t like some things about her, then he doesn’t love her. When you love someone it’s unconditional, and you don’t care what they look like or how much weight they have. You love that person for what’s in their heart and who they are.

That man needs to let her go, and let her move on to bigger and better things. She can have someone who adores her and respects her.

Their marriage will never work if he’s not happy.

Doug

AND FROM ANOTHER READER:

Dear Michelle Valentine,

I think he needs to grow up. For as long as that will take him, his girlfriend will end up finding someone better in the meantime.

She deserves a better “boy” than him.

Sandy

AND FROM ANOTHER READER:

Dear Michelle Valentine,

I was in the same situation as that guy who wrote in a couple of weeks ago.

I will forever regret the decision I made to not marry my beautiful girlfriend because she was overweight.

I loved her more than anything in the world, but because I kept comparing her to other women, I couldn’t accept her weight. We had the best time of our lives together, and she really made me happy. But, like an immature guy, I broke off our relationship.

She’s now engaged (to a real nice guy, I heard), and now I can never have her back.

I’m 39 years old now, and I have yet to find someone as happy, fun, and full of life as her.

Mike


Dear Readers,

Thank you for all your responses, and I hope a few readers out there have learned a lesson or two!