Dear Michelle Valentine,
I’ve just started dating this great guy.
He is a few years younger than me, and seems to party a lot. For instance, we only go out during the week because he likes to spend his weekends with the guys.
I really like him, and we have a lot of fun when we are together.
We even talk on the phone hours at a time during the week.
But on the weekend – POOF! – he’s nowhere to be found.
He doesn’t even return my phone calls.
Should I keep seeing him, demand he start taking me out on the weekend, or dump him?
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Wondering
Dear Wonder,
I wonder why you think this guy is “so great” when he does not seem to be treating you well?
Weekends are meant for couples who want to spend more time with each other.
Seems he would rather be with his friends – and most likely, with other girls.
Keep in mind that if this guy is still in the party stage of his life – while you are ready to settle down, this relationship will not work because your needs are not being met.
I suggest you have a small talk with him telling him how you feel.
Say, “I feel lonely on the weekends without you“.
If he gives you options like, “Well then, go out with your friends” or “Get a hobby“…
Instead of saying, “Okay, let’s go out this Saturday night“…
He clearly doesn’t care about your feelings… and worse, he doesn’t want to spend time with you.
You will have your answer on whether to stay with this young man or not. In the meantime, work on your self-esteem.
Build your confidence to never again tolerate a man that does not treat you well. You deserve better!
How new is your relationship? I know when I met my wife we were still pretty young and we didn’t see each other on the weekends a lot because I had usually planned out my weekends ahead of time to hang with the guys since we were all on different working schedules. After a few weeks though I had caught up on any plans I had made before I met her and we started going out on the weekends regularly. Maybe give it some time.