Dear Michelle Valentine,

Just curious to know: what was the most successful personal ad of all time?

Amelia

Dear Amelia,

Well, I searched through my collection of love and relationship books, and according to “Dates for ‘The Greats”, here’s this beauty:

Short, fat, ugly, bald, evil 80-year-old guy. Borderline impatient, always ailing, cheap, paranoid, crude, insensitive, lethargic, repulsive, slovenly, hot-tempered, unemployed, uneducated, narrow-minded, uncivilized, overbearing, cheating, thieving, lying, heartless, classless, tasteless man seeks woman to be his life’s companion. Write before it’s too late. This homespun billionaire seeks your reply.