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Dear Michelle Valentine,

Is it better to have love and lost it, than to never have loved at all?

My ex-fiancé and I met at a retreat in the mountains. For years we maintained a letter-writing relationship, then lost touch with each other.

Fast forward to Christmas, five years later.

While making my routine holiday “hello” telephone calls to friends, I took the chance and called his parents’ house in Connecticut to say hello, and behold, we talked for over two hours!

We started writing to each other again, and eventually he came to visit.

We did the Disney thing, the beach thing, and the wild thing.

As a result of consummating our relationship we were in love. He proposed and flew back to Connecticut to pack.

A few weeks later, I flew north to meet his parents and family, and helped him move south.

Once settled into my small cottage and into a routine, we were happy.

Then the call came; his mother was ill. She had gone into kidney failure and was fading fast.

He went north for a week, came back, packed his things and moved back home. I was heartbroken.

Since then, I have not been in love or anything even close to love. We had lost touch, but now we are talking again.

I realize that we can only be friends, and it’s breaking my heart, but what else can I do?

Lost Love Linda


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Dear Linda,

The emotional roller coaster ride that this unstable guy has put you through is justification enough to move on without him!

He blatantly walked right over you and has not included you in his life.

Granted, he is a good enough person to help with his family, but to move and take all his belongings – without bringing you, his fiancée – hints an underlying story:

He saw you as a “retreat” from his problems back north.

It was quite easy for him, knowing that you had open arms and a home waiting for him.

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His behavior toward you shows a complete lack of respect and love, and he certainly does not even deserve your friendship!

Move on and you will find –  and fall for – a real man that truly loves you.


Dear Reader:

Have you dated someone where their family member got sick and they had to take care of them? How did your relationship change, if at all? Please leave a comment below!

We’ve all had good and bad experiences in our lives. We all have gifts to share… especially the gift of knowledge. My hope is that this week’s advice column empowers you to take (or continue on) the wonderful journeys life has to offer!

Now, I would love to hear from you… Have you – or someone you’ve known – to be in this situation? Or… if not, what advice would YOU give to this letter-writer? Yes, more than one answer is allowed – but I’m truly curious as to what made your heart pound the most.

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Leave a comment below and let me know. Remember, do your best to share as much detail as you can because thousands of fabulous individuals come here each week for insight and inspiration.

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With so much love and appreciation,


Michelle Valentine