Dear Michelle Valentine,

Is it OK to be dating a few women all at the same time?

I’m trying to find the right person for me as soon as possible, and feel like I’m running out of time. If I date someone for a month or so, and it doesn’t work out, I wasted time meeting someone for me while with the other person.

Help! Confused.

Oh, and I’m not having sex with them right away.

Not a Serial Dater

Dear Dater,

I believe in and promote traditional “old-fashioned” courting values. Recent research has shown that the convenient, current-day trend of meeting someone, then getting involved quickly, and then moving directly to a physical relationship actually hurts the chances of developing a long-term relationship:

Physical involvement too soon puts too much pressure on a new relationship.

The reason many people have a hard time finding that “special” person is that they tend to meet someone, get involved quickly, and then immediately eliminate all other “players from the field.” If the new relationship falls apart three to six months later, you are starting from scratch all over again.

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Realize that matchmaking and meeting someone special is a numbers game… the possibility of meeting your someone special is increased as the number of people you meet is increased.

An important quality is honesty. Be sure the people you are meeting know you are serious about meeting someone special and that you are actively meeting other quality people at the same time. Think what an advantage this is… their knowledge of competition can be a great thing for you!

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Do you know someone that is dating multiple people? Please leave a comment and tells us all about it!


P.S. If you found this valuable, inspiring and worthy of your time, please share it. I can’t think of any better conversation for individuals around the world to listen to. A big hug to you!

With so much love and appreciation,


Michelle Valentine

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