Dear Michelle Valentine,
I am 29 years old and currently going through a long and drawn-out divorce. It has been a very traumatic time in my life, and even more so since I found out my “ex-wife” is currently on the dating scene.
She’s even dated one of our mutual friends already!
I have been so lonely staying in this apartment and preparing myself for a life as a single guy again. My buddies are all married and/or have a steady girlfriend, and I feel out of place.
Got any advice to help me jump-start my life again as a single guy?
David, via email
Going through a divorce or break up of any long-term relationship can be very heavy on the heart… You may also be “green with envy”.
If the other partner is “getting on with my life without you, thank-you-very-much”, it can be even more difficult on the still-grieving partner.
David, you are showing a small desire to get your single life back in gear… and this is a wonderful first step towards achieving a balanced life again!
Just be sure you are not equating being single with being lonely, for you cannot be too desirable to someone if you are trying to make them make you happy.
I suggest you take the dating scene a little slow right now.
Do not plunge into something like online dating or going to large singles parties.
Do things you like to do (going to concerts, bowling, biking, etc.) where you are sure to meet women with similar interests.
When you see someone you like, be sure to get her number and ask her out!