Dear Michelle Valentine,
I’ve been dating a guy for five years, we met on an online dating site, and he works very hard to keep the relationship going.
He has finally moved to Orlando – he’s a pilot – and is temporarily living with me, paying rent, etc.
For years, I’ve been trying to get him to the altar, but he always comes up with an excuse – my college schooling, his work transfers, my bills – you name the excuse, he’s used it.
He says that I’m “the one” but I’m afraid he’ll never propose. I’ve never even met his family in California!
It seems as though he’s too scared to make that big jump.
I know for sure that he’s not already married and he’s not cheating.
So my question is, how do I get him to the altar?
I’ve already tried making plans with him but to no avail.
I’ve tried the “let’s date other people” line, and he thinks I just want to sleep with someone else, so that won’t work.
I do not want to go the common-law marriage route, nor do I want to continue “dating”.
But I do not want to lose him, as he treats me as I want to be treated, and I love him.
So what do I do now?
Kristie, via e-mail
I have to admit that the fact that you’ve never met his family in the five years you have been dating – and the numerous, constant excuses he makes for not marrying you makes me wonder how solid your relationship really is.
But if you really feel he treats you as want to be treated, I suggest you do what you have been avoiding – have a serious talk with this man soon and let him know that his indecisiveness is causing you so much pain and distress.
Bring up your courage over a romantic dinner and say something like,
“You know I love you, and I know you love me, but if you don’t take me this weekend to your parents’ to tell them we are getting married – you will need to move out this weekend.”
If this man has any intention of marrying you, he should scoop up all his airline-employee freebie/discount tickets to take you to California to tell his family of the good news!
Let me know what happens.
How long into your relationship did you meet the parents of your boyfriend/girlfriend? Please leave a comment below!
We’ve all had good and bad experiences in our lives. We all have gifts to share… especially the gift of knowledge. My hope is that this week’s advice column empowers you to take (or continue on) the wonderful journeys life has to offer!
Now, I would love to hear from you… Have you – or someone you’ve known – to be in this situation? Or… if not, what advice would YOU give to this letter-writer? Yes, more than one answer is allowed – but I’m truly curious as to what made your heart pound the most.
Leave a comment below and let me know. Remember, do your best to share as much detail as you can because thousands of fabulous individuals come here each week for insight and inspiration.
What you have to say may just be what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough in their life!
Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments box below.
Thank you so very much for reading, watching, commenting, and especially… sharing your personal thoughts. Your kindness and generosity are like vitamins for the heart.
P.S. If you found this valuable, inspiring and worthy of your time, please share it. I can’t think of any better conversation for individuals around the world to listen to. A big hug to you!
With so much love and appreciation,