Dear Michelle Valentine,
Please answer my email as soon as possible!
The New Year is coming soon and I can’t seem to get out of a slump because of it.
This past year I didn’t accomplish any of the resolutions that I promised myself I would do (lose 25 pounds, quit smoking, and to be in a relationship), and now I feel like a loser.
I’m dreading New Year’s Eve, and it’s getting worse as the days go by.
How can I get through this easily?
Janine
Dear Janine,
First, let’s address the elephant in the room: calling yourself a “loser” just because you didn’t achieve three very challenging resolutions is way too harsh! Let’s turn that narrative around—repeat after me: “I am NOT a loser!”
Here are some steps to tackle your goals with compassion and realism:
Tips for Losing Weight
Losing 25 pounds is a significant goal, and doing it the healthy way will likely take several months—or even a year. That’s okay! Sustainable change takes time.
Here’s how to get started:
- Consult your doctor. They can recommend a personalized diet and exercise plan tailored to your needs.
- Journal your progress. Keep track of what you eat or create a weekly menu to stay organized.
- Find a buddy. Team up with a friend who shares your goal, and check in daily via text, call, or email. Better yet, meet up for a walk, jog, or bike ride.
- Use technology. Explore weight loss and exercise apps—they can make tracking your progress easier and even a bit fun!
The key is building habits you can maintain long-term. Once healthy eating and regular exercise become part of your routine, the results will follow.
Tips for Quitting Smoking
Quitting smoking is tough, especially if it’s been a habit for years. Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor for help. Going “cold turkey” isn’t the only option—many people find success through alternative methods like nicotine replacement therapy, counseling, or even hypnotism.
Do a little research to find an approach that feels right for you. Then, set small, achievable goals. For example, aim to smoke fewer cigarettes each week instead of quitting all at once. Celebrate every step forward—it’s progress!
Tips for Finding Love
When it comes to relationships, it’s important to focus on confidence and effort. Ask yourself: Am I putting myself out there?
Here are a few ideas to jumpstart your love life:
- Try online dating. There are plenty of apps and sites designed to connect people with shared interests.
- Consider hiring a matchmaker. A professional matchmaker can help you find someone who aligns with your values and goals.
- Boost your confidence. Sometimes, feeling good about yourself can naturally attract others. Smile more, strike up conversations, and embrace opportunities to meet new people.
Remember, meeting the right person takes time, and that’s okay. Focus on enjoying the process!
Adjust Your Resolutions
Many people set ambitious resolutions at the start of the year, only to feel overwhelmed and abandon them. Instead, break your big goals into smaller, more manageable steps:
- Instead of losing 25 pounds, aim for 2 pounds per month.
- Instead of quitting smoking overnight, commit to smoking fewer cigarettes each day.
- Instead of expecting to find “the one” immediately, focus on meeting more people and building connections.
Celebrate Small Wins
Every bit of progress matters!
- If you’ve lost 5 pounds, that’s fantastic.
- If you’re smoking fewer cigarettes than before, you’re making strides.
- If you’ve gone on a few dates, give yourself a high-five.
Each small accomplishment is a step closer to your ultimate goal.
What to Do Right Now
Here’s a fun and immediate way to start fresh: treat yourself! Buy a stunning New Year’s Eve outfit, make plans to celebrate with friends, and let yourself have a great time. While you’re at it, don’t be shy—flirt with some friendly faces at the party. Who knows? It might just be the confidence boost you need to kick off the year!
You’ve got this, Janine. Take things one step at a time, be kind to yourself, and remember: progress, not perfection, is the key to success.
Dear Reader:
We’ve all had New Year’s resolutions we didn’t keep… and that’s pretty normal.
What was your New Year’s resolution from last year that you didn’t keep? Lose weight, go to the gym every day, get a better paying job, learn a new language, find love?
What is your New Year’s resolution for this coming year? Is it more realistic than last year?
We all have unique New Year’s resolutions to share… and I hope you share your experiences with other readers here, to help them. My hope is that this week’s advice column empowers you to take (or continue on) the wonderful journeys life has to offer!
Now, I would love to hear from you… Have you been in this situation of not accomplishing all of your New Year’s resolutions? Or… if not, what advice would YOU give to this letter-writer? Yes, more than one answer is allowed – but I’m truly curious as to what made your heart pound the most.
Leave a comment below and let me know. Remember, do your best to share as much detail as you can because thousands of fabulous individuals come here each week for insight and inspiration.
What you have to say may just be what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough in their life!
Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments box below.
Thank you so very much for reading, watching, commenting, and especially… sharing your personal thoughts. Your kindness and generosity are like vitamins for the heart!
With so much love and appreciation,
Love,
Michelle Valentine
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