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Dear Michelle Valentine,

Please answer my email as soon as possible!

The New Year is coming soon and I can’t seem to get out of a slump because of it.

This past year I didn’t accomplish any of the resolutions that I promised myself I would do (lose 25 pounds, quit smoking, and to be in a relationship), and now I feel like a loser.

I’m dreading New Year’s Eve, and it’s getting worse as the days go by.

How can I get through this easily?



Dear Janine,

First of all, believing that you are a “loser” because you had not achieved three very difficult (and unrealistic) resolutions is being too harsh on yourself!

Repeat after me: “I am NOT a loser!”

For instance:

Losing 25 pounds of weight in a healthy manner takes many months (or a full year) to accomplish.

The best way to accomplish such a feat is to visit your doctor, and have him place you on healthy diet and exercise plan… one that will help you to change your overall eating and workout habits. This way, eating healthy will become part of your daily behavior throughout the year, allowing you to keep the weight off.

Start writing a daily journal of the foods you have eaten… or create a weekly menu plan to stay on track.

Consider buddying up with a friend who is also trying to lose weight, and set a time each day to talk (or email) about your daily diet and exercise plan.

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Better yet, meet up each day to excise! Take a walk, run, or bike ride.

If you’re an avid smartphone user, check out some of the weight loss and exercise apps available to purchase.

Secondly, quitting smoking – especially if you’ve had this habit for a few years – may require that you seek help of your doctor, too!

Quitting “cold turkey” is extremely difficult to do. Perhaps conduct a little research on ways other smokers quit their habit… hypnotism, anyone?

And lastly, your resolution to be in a relationship by the end of the year can be an overwhelming accomplishment if you are not out there dating!

Could this be perhaps because you are not feeling confident, thus not making an effort to meet someone?

Consider joining an online dating site or hiring a Professional Matchmaker to start dating again and find a special someone!

Don’t feel so bad… so many people make overwhelming demands on themselves at the start of the New Year, and then a month or two into the New Year, the resolutions go down the drain.

Your goals should be to take it easier on yourself.

Instead of thinking “25 pounds,” think more like “2 pounds per month.”

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Instead of the drastic “quit smoking,” think “I will smoke X number less cigarettes per day.”

As for being in a relationship, tell yourself, “I will go out more often, make more friends and smile at men more often.”

Get the picture?

Realize your goals, but take tiny steps to get there. Most important, be realistic with your goals!

If you’ve lost 5 pounds, pat yourself on the back. If you’re smoking less cigarettes each day than the year before, pat yourself on the back. If you’ve gone on five dates, pat yourself on the back.

Realize every small accomplishment helps you toward your larger end goal.

What would I suggest that you do immediately?

Go out and buy yourself a hot-looking New Year’s Eve dress, make some party plans to celebrate your upcoming resolutions, and flirt with every friendly guy you see at the party!


One resolution I do recommend you make?… Don’t be so harsh on yourself!

Dear Reader:

We’ve all had New Year’s resolutions we didn’t keep… and that’s pretty normal.

What was your New Year’s resolution from last year that you didn’t keep? Lose weight, go to the gym every day, get a better paying job, learn a new language, find love?

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What is your New Year’s resolution for this coming year? Is it more realistic than last year?

We all have unique New Year’s resolutions to share… and I hope you share your experiences with other readers here, to help them. My hope is that this week’s advice column empowers you to take (or continue on) the wonderful journeys life has to offer!

Now, I would love to hear from you… Have you been in this situation of not accomplishing all of your New Year’s resolutions? Or… if not, what advice would YOU give to this letter-writer? Yes, more than one answer is allowed – but I’m truly curious as to what made your heart pound the most.

Leave a comment below and let me know. Remember, do your best to share as much detail as you can because thousands of fabulous individuals come here each week for insight and inspiration.

What you have to say may just be what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough in their life!

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments box below.

Thank you so very much for reading, watching, commenting, and especially… sharing your personal thoughts. Your kindness and generosity are like vitamins for the heart!

With so much love and appreciation,


Michelle Valentine