Dear Michelle Valentine,
I spend most of my free time and weekends chatting with women on the internet.
We talk for hours and hours, and I like talking to women from all over the world. We talk about everything from politics to sports and I look forward to going into my room and just escaping.
But my family and roommate say that I’m addicted to it and I need to go out and meet real, live women.
I don’t see anything wrong with what I’m doing, but what do you think? I will take your advice.
Jason, Orlando
Dear Jason,
Chatting with women from around the world on the internet can be an entertaining activity in your life.
What alarms me, though, is that the people closest to you in your life see a negative change in your usual behavior.
And that is not a good sign.
If the majority of your personal time is spent with a box with a screen on it, then maybe it is time to go out into the real world and meet live, interesting people.
What are you hiding from?
Keep in mind that if women on the internet find you interesting enough to talk to you for hours, I’m sure that the women you will meet in person will think so, too!
Do you know someone who is addicted to online dating? Please leave a comment below!
Hi Michelle
Is it possible to be addicted to talking to multiple women online? I know someone who spends all his time talking to 100’s of women online and he has a family at home. From my understanding he simply flirts online with them. Is there a name for this behavior?
Dear Alicia,
Yes, it is very possible to be addicted to online chats. This married man you speak of is doing this to seek validation of his desirability from other women. He is insecure in his life, and online chatting helps him to cope at this moment.
Perhaps he has low self-esteem from perhaps a mid-life crisis (grey hair, wrinkles, body changes) or low status in his career (feeling invisible, overlooked for promotions, insecure with the accomplishments of younger men at the office, etc.) or perhaps he’s searching for someone to have an affair with.
There are many reasons why he is addicted, just as there are many reasons why anyone would be addicted to anything… gambling, drugs, alcohol, food, etc.
Of course, it would be best for him to talk to a therapist about his insecurities and project his attention towards his family instead. If this behavior is bothersome to his wife, she should approach this concern to her husband. Perhaps both initially visit a therapist.
As for the name of this behavior, there are many: insecurity, low self-esteem, inconsiderate to his family, wasting time, addiction, and yes, cheating.