Dear Michelle Valentine,

I’ve been dating this guy for nearly a year now, and I have this queasy feeling that he’s cheating on me.

It’s just a feeling, but I wonder if he’s picking up on it because he’s been acting strangely toward me.

He hasn’t been dressing any differently – I have heard that’s one of the clues – and our sexual relationship is unchanged.

What other clues should I look for?

Marilyn, by e-mail

Dear Marilyn,

Private investigator C.R. “Bob” Brown’s book, Investigations: Doing It My Way includes several pages on the tell-tale signs of a cheating spouse.

His tips:

At the beginning of an affair, the mate who is cheating is more attentive to the spouse due to the guilt the cheater is feeling.

Cheating spouses may pay little attention to activities at home: They don’t show interest in the lives of any children who live in the home nor do they have any desire to do any maintenance or fix-ups around the house.

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Your intuition or gut feeling that something is not right usually is a sign – “when in doubt, check them out.”

Cheaters may have a change in sex life – more sex, less sex, or unexplained (or unusual) sexual requests.

Grooming habits also may change.

Physical signs to look for include lipstick on the collar and odors of cologne or perfume on a shirt or blouse.

Lastly, be tuned in to telephone calls and text messages – especially if your mate whispers, gives a quick answer and immediately hangs up or if you get an abrupt hang-up when you answer.

Dear Reader:

Have you ever been cheated on?

We’ve all had good and bad experiences in our lives. We all have gifts to share… especially the gift of knowledge. My hope is that this week’s advice column empowers you to take (or continue on) the wonderful journeys life has to offer!

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Now, I would love to hear from you… Have you – or someone you’ve known – to be in this situation? Or… if not, what advice would YOU give to this letter-writer? Yes, more than one answer is allowed – but I’m truly curious as to what made your heart pound the most.

Leave a comment below and let me know. Remember, do your best to share as much detail as you can because thousands of fabulous individuals come here each week for insight and inspiration.

What you have to say may just be what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough in their life!

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments box below.

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Thank you so very much for reading, watching, commenting, and especially… sharing your personal thoughts. Your kindness and generosity are like vitamins for the heart.

P.S. If you found this valuable, inspiring and worthy of your time, please share it. I can’t think of any better conversation for individuals around the world to listen to. A big hug to you!

With so much love and appreciation,


Michelle Valentine


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