Dear Michelle Valentine,

I don’t know if you can help me because this is not a “love problem”, but I have a problem that I need help with. First of all, I’m not writing because I’m looking for a boyfriend – I’m just looking for a female to be my friend.

I recently moved to the United States, and really miss hanging around “with the girls”.

I work with all men, and it’s really hard to meet females. I mean, you don’t go to a bar and say, “Hi I’m Jessica, will you go out shopping with me and be my friend?”

Please give advice!

Jessica, via email

Dear Jessica,

Yes it is a little more difficult in connecting with female friends, and even more so if you do not work with any females.

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Making a female friend takes some interviewing and nurturing, too, just as if you were seeking a boyfriend.

You do want to find a girlfriend that has some of the same interests as you (like mall shopping, bike riding, clubbing).

But, the beauty in finding a girlfriend is more fun because you can let her “personality quota” be the extreme of yours.

For instance, if you’re quiet and shy, maybe a girlfriend with a bit more spunk would compliment you greatly, and pull out the best in you!

Or, find someone who has been living in the United States for a while and she can take you to the hottest places in your immediate area.

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Or, find a friend who is new to your area, too, and you both can try new places and things together.

How do you find a girl friend?

  • For one, be sure you have a smile on your face at all times. No one likes to talk to (or be around) an unhappy person.
  • Next, make it a goal to make small chat with people around you, not matter where you are. I’ve made a few friends just by chatting with women standing in line with me at the grocery market.
  • If someone seems mutually interested in really getting together, do not hesitate to give her your phone number and extend a specific date of meeting. Say “It was fun meeting you, Janel… let’s go to the mall next Saturday, here’s my phone number.”
  • Just as if you were single and seeking a boyfriend, you would not hesitate to tell people that you’re single – so do the same in mentioning to people of how you’re new to the area, and how you miss hanging around with girlfriends. I’m sure someone will say, “Hey, you’d get along great with my sister…”