Dear Michelle Valentine,

I don’t know if you can help me because this is not a “love problem”, but I have a problem that I need help with. First of all, I’m not writing because I’m looking for a boyfriend – I’m just looking for a female to be my friend.

I recently moved to the United States, and really miss hanging around “with the girls”.

I work with all men, and it’s really hard to meet females. I mean, you don’t go to a bar and say, “Hi I’m Jessica, will you go out shopping with me and be my friend?”

Please give advice!

Jessica, via email

Dear Jessica,

Yes it is a little more difficult in connecting with female friends, and even more so if you do not work with any females.

Making a female friend takes some interviewing and nurturing, too, just as if you were seeking a boyfriend.

You do want to find a girlfriend that has some of the same interests as you (like mall shopping, bike riding, clubbing). But, the beauty in finding a girlfriend is more fun because you can let her “personality quota” be the extreme of yours.

For instance, if you’re quiet and shy, maybe a girlfriend with a bit more spunk would complement you greatly, and pull out the best in you!

Or, find someone who has been living in the United States for a while and she can take you to the hottest places in your immediate area.

Or, find a friend who is new to your area, too, and you both can try new places and things together.

How do you find a girl friend?

  • For one, be sure you have a smile on your face at all times. No one likes to talk to (or be around) an unhappy person.

  • Next, make it a goal to make small chat with people around you, not matter where you are. I’ve made a few friends just by chatting with women standing in line with me at the grocery market.

  • If someone seems mutually interested in really getting together, do not hesitate to give her your phone number and extend a specific date of meeting. Say “It was fun meeting you, Janel… let’s go to the mall next Saturday, here’s my phone number.”

  • Just as if you were single and seeking a boyfriend, you would not hesitate to tell people that you’re single – so do the same in mentioning to people of how you’re new to the area, and how you miss hanging around with girlfriends. I’m sure someone will say, “Hey, you’d get along great with my sister…”

Have you never moved to a new town and didn’t know anyone?

How did you make new friends?

Please leave comment so we can hear all about!

We’ve all had good and bad experiences in our lives. We all have gifts to share… especially the gift of knowledge. My hope is that this week’s advice column empowers you to take (or continue on) the wonderful journeys  life has to offer!

Now, I would love to hear from you… Have you – or someone you’ve known – to be in this situation? Or… if not, what advice would YOU give to this letter-writer? Yes, more than one answer is allowed – but I’m truly curious as to what made your heart pound the most.

Leave a comment below and let me know. Remember, do your best to share as much detail as you can because thousands of fabulous individuals come here each week for insight and inspiration.

What you have to say may just be what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough in their life!

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Thank you so very much for reading, watching, commenting, and especially… sharing your personal thoughts. Your kindness and generosity are like vitamins for the heart.

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With so much love and appreciation,


Michelle Valentine

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